If you feel the need to be a lapdog to the prospects you deal with, you are putting yourself and your organization in a position of weakness and eventual commoditization of your offering(s). Also, it's not very flattering personally.
Bob Beck's new book called Mutual Respect touches on this very point. If I can't enjoy a relationship based on mutual respect that is a relationship that I, personally, nor my company wants any part of. To enjoy this type of relationship though you do have to be a person of honor, integrity and have the ability to add value. Given the existence of those elements you, as a sales person, have every right to expect mutual respect. Additionally, you, as a sales person, are a human being who has every right to call someone out when you feel as though the relationship is one-sided.
I recently experienced a situation when I had to do this very thing when one of my contacts had asked me to do him a favor and in exchange he would do something for me. I went above and beyond the call of duty and he did nothing that he said he would do. Below is the letter I sent to him with the names and company names changed to protect the innocent (and guilty):
The last time we had a real conversation you had asked me to use my influence to pull in some "Big 4 Consulting Firm" resources to help you. In exchange you said you would contact the guys at "ABC Company" on my behalf and get me a personal introduction.
Here's what's happened to date:
- The very same day we spoke I used my contact influence and made all the calls to the Managing Partners at "Big 4 Consulting Firm" on your behalf. They had a few questions re: project scope, size, resources needed, duration, etc. which I passed to you and never heard anything back. Now I have them contacting me wondering if I fed them a false lead just to suck business out of them. Political capital like that is hard to come by and easy to lose. I'm not sure what will happen the next time I request their help ... it'll be a little bit like the boy who cried wolf. In fact, I have a conference call with "Mr. Boss", Managing Partner of their Sales Effectiveness practice next Monday. At this point I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say to him re: this deal. I'll have to make something up.
- No referral yet, that I have heard about, with "ABC Company" - no email, phone call
- I called "Mr. Mutual Friend" to check on a few things and mentioned that you and I had spoken and I was helping you to get some "Big 4 Consulting Firm" resources. Evidently the "Big 4 Consulting Firm" resources you needed were intended to replace "Mr. Mutual Friend's" guys. I didn't know that. In fact, when we spoke I asked why you wouldn't use "Mr. Mutual Friend" and you said something to the effect that they didn't have the capabilities. From our conversation I didn't get that they were failing and "Big 4 Consulting Firm" was to replace them. That very well could have been a misunderstanding on my part. But I do value my relationship with "Mr. Mutual Friend" and don't want to see that damaged.
- I've called you twice to see where you stand on the above items and sent you one email. Each time you were in a meeting and said you would call back but never did.
I thought it would be fair to express to you how it feels to be on my end of this deal. Not good at all. My hope is that we can turn this around and begin to work together as trusted partners.
Sincerely, Scott
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